Suicidal Switches
by kickers-ej
Summary: Kiba! Give me back my body!" Naruto in Kiba's body shouted. Naruto looked at Kiba and replied "I'm not Kiba," then bees started buzzing.."I'm Shino," What about the rest? Narusasu, mild cussing.


Suicidal switches

Kickers-ej

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto characters

Naruto woke up feeling a wet appendage brush against his cheek. It was the most erotic thing he ever felt in his 17 years of life.

"God, Sasuke. Yeah, just like that," as common in my stories, Naruto is absolutely obsessed with his team mate. Sasuke returned after his escapade with Itachi and Akatsuki. Naruto was there to hug the bastard with all the (hidden) love he felt, and the two later parted with blushes. Kakashi, Sakura, Sai and Yamato had to roll their eyes at the obliviousness of the pair at their obvious affections for each other.

Yup, they were that dumb.

But back at hand, Naruto continued on living in his dream, when he decided to hug said bastard just so he could cop a feel, when he noticed something that was slightly off..

Sasuke was hairy. All over.

"Sheesh, Sasuke, get a sha….ve?" opening his blurry eyes, he was granted with the sight of Akamaru wagging his tail fondly inches away form his (handsome) face.

"YAAAAAAHHHH!!!"

This was not your ordinary morning.

Angered, Naruto jumped out of bed to inspect what the hell is going on. Kiba must have entered his house to set up traps of pranks. But too bad! Akamaru had taken a liking to the young Uzumaki and had blown their cover! Passing by the closet, he noticed a figure on the closet door.

It was the Inuzuka.

"Kiba! You ass! Get the hell out of my house!" he flailed his arms and found that the Inuzuka was also speaking and flailing his arms. Further inspection made Naruto realize that he was talking to a mirror.

"YAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"

Naruto jumped out of Kiba's house (the dog smell finally caught up to him) and leapt towards his apartment in search of his body. Apparently some joker thought it was funny to switch Naruto with Kiba, and no way was he gonna tolerate that!

Why couldn't the dumb*ss change him into Sasuke? He could at least, fondle himself just so he knows what the teme feels like. Oh yeah….temeeeeeh~

He was abruptly interrupted when he saw Naruto walking down the street looking mildly disturbed.

"Kiba! Give my body back dattebayo! Sasuke might come to get me to spar and I sure as hell won't let you have quality time with him!" Kiba (Naruto) shouted at his own body.

The Naruto body stared silently at what appeared to be Kiba, and then, he brought up sunglasses and put them on.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Naruto…but I'm not Kiba," the Naruto body murmured. Naruto (Kiba) watched disturbed as swarms of bees? Flies? Appeared from underneath Naruto body's arms.

No! it can't be! Please kami!

"I'm Shino," Naruto's body replied.

F%ck!

"Sasuke-sama!!! Please accept my gift!"

"Sasuke-sama, marry me!!"

"Sasuke-sama!!"

Sasuke dashed through the streets, hurrying along in hopes of getting away form rabid girls. He was really considering to just let the girls have their way, when he spotted Kiba and Naruto talking to each other. More like Kiba shouting and Naruto with sunglasses replying calmly.

"They'll help me," he muttered under his breath.

"Oi! Naruto! Kiba!" he signaled out to them. Both teens turned to look and immediately turned frantic. Damn that Sasuke!

"Sasuke! Don't bring them here bastard!"

"I'm not Sasuke!" Sasuke body shouted.

"Huh?" Kiba (Naruto) asked back.

"I'm not…" Sasuke body caught sight of a girl leaping at him, aiming for his pants.

"Kagemane no jutsu!" stepping on the girls shadow, he immediately flipped the girl around so that he could escape. The girl followed his every move.

"No way!" Kiba (Naruto) exclaimed. Sasuke body looked at them both and analyzed the situation. Kiba saying bastard so fondly to Sasuke? Naruto with sunnies?

"Troublesome,"

At Chouji's, the teen was trying desperately to grasp the situation. Hyuuga Neji had woken up in Chouji's bed with short hair and swirls on his cheek.

And he was fat.

"This is not my destiny,"

" The youthfulness of kami-sama has granted me this body so that I will appreciate my body more!" Shikamaru yelled while 'yosh'-ing the air. Next to him Shino munched hungrily on a bun.

"I can't believe you got Shika's body," Shino mumbled.

"Yes, me too. It saddens me to not be able to utilize his body to the fullest. I feel tired so easily," Shikamaru replied sadly.

"Well, he spends his time sleeping," Shino replied.

"Oh, the agony of youth. One should not spend time lazing around! Perhaps you could advice him in the future, Chouji," Shikamaru suggested.

"I could try Lee," Shino ( Chouji) answered back.

"Lee my favourite student! Are you ill?" Gai-sensei cried at the mere thought of Lee being sick. His student failed to show up for their morning training. And when confronted, Lee merely shrugged and looked the other way.

"Oh my! I must bring this news to lady Tsunade! Lee! Wait at home! I will be quick!" Gai-sensei dashed towards the tower.

"Hn," Lee scoffed at the idea. He had better things to do then just sit around at home.

Ten Ten walked by and noticed something off with her team mate.

"Lee, I love those spiked on your hair," Ten Ten commented.

"It kinda looks like Sasuke's do,"

Lee could only smirk.

Neji smiled brilliantly at the group of girls crowding him. It was fun having fans! They give you candy, buy you gifts. Only a moron would say no to that!

"Neji-sama, please have this," a girl shyly gave him a boxed chocolate. Neji graciously accepted and thanked the girl by touching her cheeks.

Squeals were heard.

"Thank you everyone, I must go however, as destiny awaits me," must be in character so that the charade can go on.

"Neji-sama! My treat tonight!" a random lass shouted amidst the crowd.

As Neji walked away from the scene, he flashed a blinding smile that melted the girls hearts.

"It would be my pleasure,"

As fate would have it, the rookie 9 walked into an open space that Lee and Gai used to practice on. Lee (Sasuke) spotted his body with Naruto and Kiba, immediately confronted the culprit.

"Return my body this instant, Lee," Lee (Sasuke) demanded.

"Troublesome, I'm not Lee," Sasuke (Shika) replied.

"Yosh! I see that Sasuke is in my body!" Shikamaru (Lee) shouted excitedly.

"I'm in Kiba's body dattebayo~" Kiba (Naruto) whined.

"Guess whose body Kiba is in~" Neji (Kiba) sing songed.

"You filth! Do not do anything to my body!" Chouji (Neji) growled.

"Ah, Neji, it's you," Shino (Chouji) was relieved that Neji got his body.

"…," Naruto (Shino) decided to stay quiet.

"Do you guys know what's going on? I'd like my body back please," Kiba (Naruto) asked.

"I don't know. This just comes out of nowhere," Neji (Kiba) explained.

"I hope it's just for today," Shino (Chouji) prayed.

"I guess, the most logical way is to wait it all out," Chouji (Neji) suggested. The rest of the gang nodded their consent.

"Well, in that case, I wanna go hang with Sasuke," Kiba (Naruto) made his was towards Lee (Sasuke). Lee smirked at his dobe's wishes to spend time with him. The two headed off, leaving the rest to talk.

"Guys, don't you think it's weird this happens a day before Naruto's birthday?" Neji (Kiba) asked.

"Now that you mention it, it is suspicious," Naruto (Shino) agreed.

"Come on then! Let's get presents for him then! Something good may come out of this yet!" Neji (Kiba) urged.

"Troublesome," Sasuke (Shika) shrugged. The gang apparently thought that an album would be the best gift for Naruto. Lee made a mistake by saying that having pictures of Sasuke would make the blond happy. Chouji made another mistake by saying that they should have pictures together, doing daily activity.

All in all, it worked out just fine. They could get pictures of Sasuke and Naruto together, without having Naruto know of their intentions. Win-win.

Shino (Chouji) and Shika (Lee) was empowered with the task of snapping pictures. Sasuke (Shika) and Naruto (Shino) was asked to do numerous poses (including ones you wouldn't caught Sasuke doing). Sparring, playing, cuddling, kissing (Shika is THAT open minded) was caught in abundance, and the quartet made their way to the photo shop when everything is over so that they could get the photos developed.

Meanwhile, Neji (Kiba) was using his good charms on the girls, making them decorate the Hyuuga hall (Neji would never sweet talk his way into making girls work for him) to prepare for tomorrow.

Neji on the other hand, was in Chouji's kitchen, whipping up a storm. Chouji's kitchen was fully furnished, containing all the appliances that the he needed. And being in Chouji's body not only provided the access, but also cover that he, Neji, actually liked to cook. And was damn good at it too.

The rookie 9 gathered at the Hyuuga hall by the end of the day, and Kiba (Naruto) was ecstatic that his friends made all this for him. They ate Chouji's (Neji) cooking and slept there, hoping that tomorrow, everything would turn out normal.

Sasuke opened his eyes to see Naruto curled up next to him. Taking out the hidden mirror in his back pocket, Sasuke was glad to see that he had returned normal.

That means, Naruto was Naruto too. Caressing the whiskered cheeks lovingly, Sasuke slipped a ring with the Uchiha emblem on Naruto's fingers, wishing a silent happy birthday to his dobe.

Naruto stirred in his sleep and smiled up to the teme saying thanks. Both of them woke up to find the rest gone.

"Must have gone so that we could have some quality time?" Naruto suggested. He looked at Sasuke to see the Uchiha shaking while looking at an album. Naruto peeked from behind broad shoulders and immediately blushed.

That album was choked full of pictures of him and Sasuke. Sparring, swimming (naked), cuddling? Kissing?!! Sasuke on Naruto's lap??!!

"I am going to kill those guys..," Sasuke threatened. Naruto stood up to stop the Uchiha, grabbing him and pinning him down and proceeded to kiss the living daylights out of him.

A couple of hours later (quality time well spent), the duo laid side by side, tired from their activity. Naruto noticed a piece of paper poking out form underneath his jacket. Must have flew out of the pocket in their frenzy to undress.

Opening it, Naruto silently read the note before head pitching back, a stream of blood gushing from his nose. Sasuke immediately skimmed the contents of the note.

_Dear Naruto,_

_We also snapped porno pictures of Sasuke, but we decided to wait a while before giving it to you. Come see Kiba when Sasuke's not with you._

_p/s : you will NOT be disappointed. _

Underneath was a sample picture, Sasuke sprawled on the bed with the bed sheet barely covering his jewels.

Nobody saw the rest of the rookie nine for that week.


End file.
